21 September 2005

Update (in bullet-format) from the Land of Too Many Boxes

* I am moving, once and for all, from the house I've lived in for five years (almost exactly) one week from today.

* There is currently parked in my driveway a twenty foot dumpster, half filled with the detritus of a life spent with too much storage space and the accumulated waste of previous owners.

* The dining room is currently filled with 32 boxes of varying size stuffed full with (nearly all) the books that had until this afternoon lined every inch of wall space and most of the usable surfaces of the spare bedroom.

* In the course of this packing/cleaning frenzy, the following have been discovered:

roughly four or five thousand of these monsters living in the basement:
basement cricket

two spiders more or less the size of my head:
kitchen find
back door gaurdian

the essentially full skeletal remains of a rabbit (and for the record, I did not kill this one...I think):
rabbit skeleton

and that my wife's high school boyfriend and former (sorta) normal person has become brainwashed by this wacko, fundy Jesus cult, much to everyone and no one's surprise.

* Bailey, the golden retriever, has a cone on her head a la the mutt in One Crazy Summer or that one Nirvana video. When the dumpster delivery driver came to drop off his wares, he saw her and said, "Hey, your dog's got a lampshade on her head. Life of the party, huh?" Best truck driver banter ever.

* I am creeping ever closer to passable Russian. (The Rosetta Stone language programs advertised on the back of every Skymall are, in fact, brilliant.) Speaking Russian simultaneously makes me feel a little cooler (temperature-wise) and like I want to do battle with a CIA agent.

* I still officially miss Elliott Smith, and listening to the entire catalogue while packing is not helping that fact.

* In the new issue of The Believer's interview with the glorious Sarah Silverman, she uses the word bubbler in lieu of water fountain, and in doing so simultaneously outs herself as a native New Englander (New Hampshire) and puts a good distance between herself and the rest of the field on my list of celebrity crushes. (Oh, you have one too, cool guy. Shut up.)

* There will never be enough boxes. Never.

Back to the pack.


Blogger j4nice said...

buddy comments; you know your monsters, if you like that read about them http://www.flickr.com/groups/isthisreally_ourmissii/ at ,uhmm it's some facts no one knew posted thingy. See ya ! not you bug i'm writing here.

Saturday, April 01, 2006 4:25:00 PM  

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